Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
I just attempted to wash a paper plate if you wonder how much money I have available.
I always shout "PIZZA`S HERE" so the delivery guy doesn`t think I`m eating two pizzas by myself.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
When I procrastinate, current me really expects a lot out of future me.
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
Sometimes the only reason I leave my house is so when someone asks about my day I donβt have to say βNetflix and avoiding responsibilities"
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I`m calling Santa!"
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
Robots can do anything we set their mind to