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It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
You`re never too old to learn something stupid.
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
I liked you better before we met.
"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it, I better call the police!" - literally no one ever
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
Why are you walking away when we`re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! ... At least give me your number!
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?