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I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
I don`t know what is longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
Why do sandwiches taste so much better when they are cut diagonally?
My only argument with using the treadmill, is that I can`t run away from my farts.
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone`s head.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
If my memory gets any worse I`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying