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Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
If men could have multiple orgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.
You`re from my dreams... Or nightmares. I can`t decide which.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
Picture a scavenger hunt where the only items on the list are "your house keys" and "your house." Well, son, that`s what drinking is like.
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she`s just invisible right now. She`s totally real though."
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.