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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
What number SPF blocks people?
I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you`re still getting something impressive.
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
I swear if my memory gets any worse, i`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
When setting the table, does the remote go to the left or the right of the dinner plate?
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas