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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
I swear that logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
I just saw a gang of really drunk mosquitoes leave my arm and high-five each other. Weird.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
That moment when I try and be helpful to a blind man getting off the bus by saying, "watch your step"
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
Life hack: If you keep your mouth shut, no one will know you`re so stupid
I have read so much about the dangers of drinking and smoking, that i have decided to quit reading
If couples who are in love are called `love birds.` Then couples who always argue should be called `angry birds.`
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL