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My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
If the sprayer in the sink can`t get it off and the dishwasher can`t get it off then I assume it`s just meant to be a part of the pan.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
Love is grand. Divorce is 100 grand.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My phone is covered in cupcake frosting and dried ice cream, in case you were wondering how my life is going.
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
A bachelor party seems more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
morning i hate girls evening i need girls