Daily Silly Status

Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.

They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.

I am out of wine, so I ate a bag of grapes and threw myself down the stairs.

I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.

I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.

For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!

Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.

my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.

You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.

Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you`re like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you`re from Alabama)

If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.

A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.

I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)

I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.