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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
It saddens me to think that I`ll never be able to watch my own a$$ as I walk away :(
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
Whenever I pick my Grandma up from the airport, I leave my left blinker on during the entire drive so she feels more comfortable.
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
The mechanic asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I`m pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I`m driving"
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.