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I don’t understand how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.
I love how people say they`re "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I`d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
Putting on deoderant and colonge because you haven`t showered in days, is as about as useful as shutting the lid on a toilet after its overflowing.
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
If you really want to know how she feels about you, get her drunk & then piss her off.
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever