Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
I grew up for this?
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.