Daily Silly Status

If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.

My sister told me I was not allowed to babysit anymore. Apparently the baby monitor is not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby`s ankle.

I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.

Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas

Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?

So can we just skip to summer now?

Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.

I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.

I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.

Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.

I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."

I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.

Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/

If you think husbands aren`t good listeners, whisper "Come here, I`m naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.