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My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you`re right fellas, men are smarter than women.
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you`re not driving.
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
A shake for breakfast. A shake for lunch. A sensible dinner. SEVENTY FIVE COOKIES AT 12:34AM
My IQ? ... With google or without?
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.