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If you need help moving I am one hundred percent there for you emotionally.
Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous...Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn`t tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
According to this bathroom stall,,, my ex changed her number again.
Everyone knows spray tans and Tang come from the same stem cells as Cheetos, so why does Wikipedia keep deleting my edits?
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.