Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they`re ok.
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
Don`t believe everything you think.
The really cool thing about being a husband is having your mistakes constantly pointed out.
The next time the creepy guy at the bar asks you "Why aren`t you smiling?" simply reply, "I don`t smile while I fart."
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
Don`t, under any circumstance, believe I`ll return your Tupperware.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.
Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it