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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
If we learned anything from the Mayans, it’s that if you don’t finish something, it’s not the end of the world
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.