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The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
My car said "low on fuel"..I replied "low on cash"..I`m still waiting for a reply..
Ex Girlfriend: Omg! I had a dream about you last night!! Ex Boyfriend: Aww thats so sweet, what happend? Ex Girlfriend: U died :)
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit".
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, Knock over a lamp, and kill a cat.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes off 9 minutes of your life.. According to my calculations i should have died in 1732.
Having plans sounds great until you realize you have to put on clothes and actually leave the house.
You ever want to just grab someone and say, WTF is wrong with you?
Thanks for posting pics of what you had for dinner, the suspense was f*cking killing me.