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A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
My neck, My back, My Netflix and my snacks...
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
Her (from the living room): What time is it out there? Me (in the kitchen): Same time as it is in there.
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re ignorant and make bad decisions.
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!