Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told. Twice now.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
I yawn all day at work & school. But when it comes to at night, I’m not tired at all.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
You can save a lot of money by walking face-first into a spiderweb every morning instead of buying coffee.
I`ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo
Say goodbye to your girlfriends cause I just bought a book on magic tricks
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
I´m playing hide and seek with the kids right now and they´ll never find me, because they aren´t old enough to drive or get into this bar.
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons.