Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
There really should be awards for getting out of bed.
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
I plucked my first gray hair today ... Man, that lady was upset.
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough