Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m starting to think that the gym isn’t really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
If you think you`re bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for Christs sake.
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
A garbage disposal is just a device for finishing off all the food no one else in the house will eat.
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
So can we just skip to summer now?
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.