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In marijuana`s defense, I`m lazy as sh!t completely sober too.
My kids refuses to play with the Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
I’m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.