Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in a long line, loudly, at amusement parks
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
Before Walmart, you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
OMG, you`re huge! There`s no way you`ll fit inside me.- My clothes probably.
"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
You can`t always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store