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My wife didn`t appreciate me pointing out that my alcoholism began around the time that we first started dating.
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? ... Inspirational posts are hard.
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Mike.
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
If you really want to know how she feels about you, get her drunk & then piss her off.
If I keep hitting the treadmill like I do every night, in a few weeks maybe I`ll learn to turn on the light when I get up to pee in the dark
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.