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Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.
I think God created marriage so death wouldn`t come as such a disappointment.
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
"Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.
Put your gossiping skills to the test, go write a novel...
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?