Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?