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I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that`s what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)
Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Iām alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
It seems like the āLā in my luck has been replaced with an āFā.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
Peace on earth would be nice, but not gaining 20 pounds over the holidays would be a Christmas miracle.