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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
I just can’t stop thinking of all the people who signed my yearbooks that I have let down by failing to “stay cool”
Sometimes I meow back at cats.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering all my questions...
Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons.
I regret buying that straight jacket now. I thought it would look good on me but I just couldn`t pull it off...
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
Dear McDonalds cashier, Don`t give me that look, there`s no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don`t forget the toy b!tch.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.