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You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
Friend: Hey that`s a great truck. what kinda engine? Me: [rubbing the hood] it`s got a truck engine
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they`re looking for ideas.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
Can you shut up now?! Because talking to you sounds less appealing then playing leapfrog with unicorns.
Facebook should have an "I`ve seen enough" button.
Most days I think I understand women, but then the alcohol wears off.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.