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Five years ago my boss asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I finally know the answer: Not Here
I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
He won`t let me complain to the neighbors, so I renamed the WiFi to `SHUT YOUR DOG UP, D!CKS`
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
It`s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.