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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
is a mystery you´ll never solve
For Christmas I just want summer...
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
People who peel the entire banana before eating it must be the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics
Got a new blood pressure monitor, says it turns off after 6 minutes of inactivity .....
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.