Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
I’m sorry I’m late. I saw a drawing of the sun wearing sunglasses and spent 4 hours wondering what the f**k he was protecting his eyes from.
My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.
If you`re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
I don`t like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?
If you`re going to stalk me at least notice when I`m running low on toilet paper & change the roll.
Why get married? Just pick a girl you hate and buy her a house.