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I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
No, I did not forget my password. I distinctly remember it being 8 asterisks.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone, when you buy flowers because they`re also a snack for later.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.