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My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
Rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don`t they?
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
My co workers put cookies on my desk, like they`re leaving a sacrifice for an angry god.
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
I`m at my most likable before you get to know me.
Magic words that make my children disappear: 1) Bath time. 2) Who did this?!?! 3) When I was your age...
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
90% of parenting is just screaming at your kids to stop screaming.