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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
I`ll never be to old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else.
I`d take a stupid dog over a stupid person any day.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.