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Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn’t want to ruin my day by talking to you.
My box of animal crackers says "May contain nuts." So I`m inspecting each animal before I eat it...just in case.
There would be a lot less people willing to run for public office if the losers were required to pick up all the lawn signs afterwards.
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"