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I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
People say "Happy Thanksgiving" which is nice, but then they ruin it by saying "Don`t eat too much". Do they want me to have a Happy Thanksgiving or not?
My kids don`t even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
Apparently, when asked "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "F**kin` large ones" is not the correct answer.
My day at work wasn`t easy, I just made it look that way!
It doesn`t take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad.
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
People born in 1994-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums. & they are not even 18 yet.
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes
And I was like “No, Coke is NOT ok. I wanted a Pepsi.” And she was all “Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies.”
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.