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At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
Without the sanctity of marriage there wouldn`t be job security for divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
If A Couple in Love are called Love Birds, then a couple who fight with each other should be called Angry Birds.
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF