Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things I’d get a lot more done.
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
My friends had a surprise party for me last night, well I called it a surprise party they called it an intervention.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
Hey sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!