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Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
If your job title is head receiver, you know you`re doing something right.
I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband.
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Before Walmart, you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago...
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.