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twinkle twinkle little star ... point me to the nearest bar.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
Looking back at old text messages and Facebook messages and being like "What the hell was I thinking when I said that."
Alcohol goes in ... Happiness comes out.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
Just realized I have more in common with Garfield than I have with most people
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?
Thursday doesn`t even count as a day, it`s just the thing that`s blocking friday.
Sometimes, half your sh!t is worth it.
Iām in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.