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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
My most heavily used kitchen appliance is a fire extinguisher.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
I can do 50-100 pushups depending on how many weeks you give me.