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Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
Make sure your goals are unattainable so you`ll feel a little better about giving up later
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
My bank called because they noticed ‘highly suspicious activity’ on my charge account. It was for a gym membership.
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
I legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I`m in New York.
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.
Save the US Postal Service. Have the Jehovah Witness and Mormons deliver the mail.
As My Wife walked by, she said, "NICE PORN STASH!" which got me all excited and I preceded to show her where I hide the really raunch stuff. She then clarified that she was talking about the ugly hair I`ve been trying to grow above my lip, and now, I have neither... :)
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
Wish there were more love songs about naps and liqour.
Just because she weighed as much as two women doesn`t mean you had a threesome