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When I said make yourself at home, I meant go wash my dishes.
Those 4 words that will get any girl into bed with you. `I won the lottery`.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
Christmas spirit? I`m proud to say I`ve got plenty of that. I`ve got rum, whiskey, gin, brandy, vodka and tequila.
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.