Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Me: "The only person I need in my life is you." Bartender: "Please stop trying to hold my hand."
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"…
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
I wish I was important enough for my nudes to get leaked.
Sure thing.... follow me... I`ll show you the fastest way to get to nowhere.
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
You know it`s getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...