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I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.
Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
Kids may be a gift, but I like playing with the box it came in.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
I used to dream about becoming an astronaut. Now I just dream that there`s still time before the alarm goes off.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
To be Frank, I`ll have to change my name.
Dear life, I`ve had enough bullsh!t to last a while. Can we take a little break please.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
I`m using voice-to-text to post this status. All I do is talk and it makes a text out of it. It`s really cool... Hey! What are you doing? That`s my phone! Give it back! Come back here, you son of a...