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Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
I`m going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
Why don`t they just get Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail?
Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?