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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
I’m just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Hi I’m a spider & I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says “trust me, you don’t want to know.”
Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
I`m only materialistic when I shop at the liquor store.
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.