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I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
I miss the life I planned in my head.
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
You know it´s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with.. "Are you sitting down?"
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
When I`m at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend.
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.
I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.