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Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. Trust me on this
Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don`t have to hear what she`s talking about.
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
Walmart is one store where it is truly acceptable to shop in your pajamas.
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
Hate it when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it’s not even in there.
Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.
I bought 2 fish and named one, “one” and the other “two”, so when “one” dies I will still have “two”.
Some people should come with subtitles.
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside