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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I think the only way I’ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I’m in prison.
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
My workout plan really only consists of me wandering around in parking lots because I forgot where I parked...
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
I was told today to look at my life from a different perspective. I`m lying on the floor now and the shit still looks f*cked up.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
Today is "find your active cavity at 50% off" day at your local store.
I was just thinking…Then I thought β€œwhy?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.