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I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
After all these years, I`m beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn`t want to be found.
I go from "Hard to get" to "Hard to get rid of" in 6 beers flat.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
I`m just 1 nap, 8 beers, 2 orgasms and my own personal robot away from this being the best day ever.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...