Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
Sometimes, late at night in WalMart, I switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
Screw getting an alarm system. I`ve seen Home Alone, I know what to do.
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
I like my women how I like my straws …. Bendy and full of liquor.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
If only my goals were to be poor, lazy and out of shape.
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?